One Week
by idsunki
Summary: *Not a songfic* Can Kurt keep his hands off of girls for just one week? Rated for a few naughty German words and mildly suggestive bits. *Complete*
1. Throwing the Gauntlet

Disclaimer: The characters are all registered trademarks and copyrights of   
Marvel and other people. I am using them without permission. I am making no   
money off of this, profit or otherwise.  
  
Archiving: E-mail me, I'll probably say yes.  
  
Author's Notes: This is my first piece of fan fiction. I will try not to use   
this as an excuse to suck. I don't write accents or dialects unless they are   
being purposefully exaggerated. I only know enough German from two years in High   
School and a German to English dictionary purchased from Half-Price Books. If   
any of the German is wrong or misused, please let me know.  
Enjoy.  
  
  
One Week  
(or Dare to be Single)  
  
  
Chapter 1: Throwing the Gauntlet  
  
Kurt Wagner collapsed onto his bed. "Life," he announced to the ceiling,   
"sucks." He sighed, then continued, "Es ist not fair, I finally find a girl that   
likes me and she turns out to be... geisteskrank! Verrückt! Übel! I-" He barely   
managed to deflect the basketball.  
"...am going to go out and play basketball with mein Freund Evan instead   
of being depressed?" Evan finished for him, laying a thick German accent over   
his words.  
Kurt just sighed and stared at the ceiling. "Maybe some other time, ja?"  
"That bad, huh?" Evan sat on the edge of his bed, spinning the ball in   
his hands. "What happened this time, some of Jubes' bubble gum pop in your fur?"  
"Nein." He gestured vaguely toward the ceiling with one three-fingered   
hand. "Girls."  
Evan rolled his eyes. "Man, when are you gonna get over her? She was bad   
news man, even Scott could see that, and he's wearing shades all the time!"   
Risking a glance, he noticed his joke hadn't even dented Kurt's bubble of self-  
pity. "Besides, girlfriends are a drag. I mean, just look at Jean and Scott..."  
Kurt waited a few moments, then looked up to see why Evan's voice had   
trailed off.  
"What about Jean and Scott?" asked one of the aforementioned two, his arms   
folded across his chest and a none-too-happy look on his face.  
Oh.  
"Uh... nothin' man, just trying to cheer up the Crawler!" Evan grinned.  
"What's wrong with Kurt?" Scott looked down on the bed to make sure he   
wasn't ill or hurt, then sighed. "Still blaming yourself for Tabitha? Look,   
Kurt, she left on her own, it was her decision. Just let it go."  
"Yeah Kurt, let it go. I mean, girls - who needs 'em?" Evan quickly   
agreed.  
Kurt was silent for a few moments, then sat up and slammed one three-  
fingered fist into his palm. "Girls! Who needs them? I don't, that's for sure!   
No more girls for me..." He stopped as he noticed the stares. "Wait, no more   
girls for now, not until they've matured enough not to go psycho on me!"  
The two other X-Men were silent a few seconds, then burst out laughing.   
"Kurt, you couldn't last one week without chasing one girl or another around   
school with flowers and chocolate!"  
"Yeah man, and what about your adoring fans at the mansion? They'll miss   
your constant displays of affection!" added Evan.  
Kurt growled, "I'll show you, I don't need girls. I'm better off without   
them!"  
"Wanna bet?"  
Kurt's response was quick, perhaps a little too quick. "What are the   
terms?"  
Scott quickly intervened, "It was just a figure of speech, Kurt, he didn't   
really mean a bet..."  
"Nein, he challenged me."  
BAMF  
Kurt rustled around in a few of his drawers for a moment while Evan and   
Scott looked on, slightly confused.  
BAMF  
He reappeared on the bed, sitting cross-legged with a clipboard in his lap   
and a pen in hand. By then, Evan had regained the use of conscious thought and   
his courage.  
"One week, Crawler. No girls, none at all. No kissing, squeezing, teasing,   
nothing." He waited while Kurt jotted down the terms.  
"Und when I win?" Kurt looked up at Evan with those strange yellow eyes of   
his.  
"If you win," Evan said with emphasis on the if, "Me and Scott owe you   
five bucks."  
"Hey, I didn't..."  
Kurt cut him off, "Money? You would bet with something so dull as money?   
Really Evan, I thought this was a serious challenge."  
"Alright, so what do you suggest?"  
The blue-furred boy's grin suddenly reminded his teammates that he had   
fangs. "I thought you'd never ask. When I win, you both will treat me to a   
week's worth of Gut Burger."  
Scott cut in, "You just said that you won't bet money on this, but you   
want us to buy you dinner-"  
"-Breakfast, lunch, dinner-"  
"-whatever, isn't that the same thing as money?"  
Kurt shook his head, "Nein, it makes all the difference in the world."  
Evan sighed, "There's just no understanding him, man. But when you lose,   
what will you give us?"  
He thought for a moment, then looked at Scott, "To you I would give one   
week of loyalty. I would not question your orders or position as team leader in   
any way, shape, or form. Nor would I tolerate dissent from any other member of   
the team," Kurt paused, then turned to Evan, "And to you, mein Freund, one week,   
prank-free. No pranks, no practical jokes, no wake-up calls, no fun at your   
expense."  
The two boys sat there in silence a moment, perhaps imagining what such a   
week could be like. "You're on!"  
"Sehr gut. One more formality to go through, and all will be set..."   
Kurt pushed the clipboard and pen toward them. Evan quickly signed, and Scott   
glanced over the writing before adding his own signature as well. Kurt grinned   
as he accepted the clipboard back. "Danke, now if you'll excuse me, I have much   
work to do." 


	2. Soaking in the Irony

Disclaimer: The characters are all registered trademarks and copyrights of   
Marvel and other people. I am using them without permission. I am making no   
money off of this, profit or otherwise.  
  
Archiving: E-mail me, I'll probably say yes.  
  
Author's Notes: This is my first piece of fan fiction. I will try not to use   
this as an excuse to suck. I don't write accents or dialects unless they are   
being purposefully exaggerated. I only know enough German from two years in High   
School and a German to English dictionary purchased from Half-Price Books. If   
any of the German is wrong or misused, please let me know.  
Enjoy.  
  
Chapter 2: Soaking in the Irony  
  
"An A! Take that, Geometry!" Kitty giggled and skipped into the mansion,   
determined to hug the next thing she saw. She peeked into the kitchen. Nope, no   
one there.  
"...but first, headlines!"  
Ah ha! Someone's in the den! She burst through the door and dove toward   
the couch. "Kurt!"  
The blue-furred mutant turned to see who called his name only to see a   
young girl flying through the air at him, arms outstretched.  
BAMF  
"Kurt?" Kitty asked, now kneeling on the couch.  
"Sorry, Kitty. It's just, I'm not used to people startling me like that   
yet..."   
She blushed. "Oops! I like, totally forgot all about that. I was just so   
excited I aced my geometry test, I just had to tell somebody!"  
"Oh, das ist wunderbar, Kitty." Whew, easier than he'd thought.  
"So don't I like, get a hug for a reward, Fuzzy?" She got up from the   
couch and held out her arms.  
BAMF  
She waited a moment, then noticed he hadn't reappeared in her arms. "Uhm,   
Kurt?" She looked around the room and blinked. "That was weird..."  
Jean was walking down the stairs when a blue blur flew up past her.  
"Entschuldigung!"  
She almost turned to look behind her, but only almost.  
"Jean!"  
She caught Kitty and hugged her back. "Congratulations on the A, Kitty."  
"Oh, did Kurt like, tell you already? First he just runs off, then he   
tells everyone the good news!"  
"But he didn't..."  
"Boys! One minute they'll do anything just to get you to look at them, the   
next they're running away!" Kitty walked off with a "Humph!", leaving Jean alone   
on the stairway.  
"But... Oh, never mind." The mansion's resident telepath sighed, then   
walked down into the kitchen for a well-deserved snack.  
Meanwhile, up a floor and down a few hallways, the blue-furred mutant some   
call Nightcrawler collapsed on his bed. Today, of all days! The first few weeks   
he threw himself at Kitty, not so much because he *liked* her liked her, but   
because he had wanted her to accept him. Then today, she'd actually gone out of   
her way to hug him, and he had to turn her down. He looked over at his clock,   
and the red numbers 8:17 stared back at him. His yellow eyes held the numbers in   
their relentless stare, willing it to be the end of the week.  
8:18  
Hah! Fuzzy dude - 1, Clock - 0. Just two hours and twelve minutes until   
you'll be tired enough to fall asleep, just one hundred twenty- "Argh!" Kurt   
jumped off his bed and began pacing his room, hands clasped behind his back and   
his tail twitching in agitation. It was the perfect plan, just stay in his room   
when he wasn't training or at school for one stupid little week. Well, asked a   
little voice in his head, if the plan is so perfect, why are you already so   
bored?  
Clappe, he instructed the little voice. So he was a little bored, so what?   
The professor had outfitted all the rooms with various forms of entertainment,   
and he had his stereo. He flipped through his CD collection, then tossed in a   
random Beatles album before turning triumphantly toward his foe.  
8:21  
Verdammt! Only three minutes? He looked around his mostly spotless room   
for something, anything to occupy his attention. His yellow eyes settled on a   
small rumpled form in the corner.  
"No, I left you in my locker at school. I distinctly remember putting you   
in my locker and leaving you behind! How did you get here?"  
His backpack said nothing.  
Which at that moment is what Evan was wishing he had said.  
"Why'd you have to like, jinx it? Now Kurt's gonna show up and start   
throwing popcorn everywhere and ruin the whole movie for everyone and-"  
"Be fair," Scott interrupted, "Kurt never gives away the actual ending.   
Besides, aren't you being a little paranoid? I'm sure he's got better things to   
do than think of ways to disrupt movie night." He looked around at the assembled   
teenagers as they all stared at him like he'd grown a second head. "What?"  
"I'll do a quick scan for him, just to make sure he isn't sneaking up on   
us," Jean volunteered. Evan put the movie on pause while Jean rubbed her   
forehead in preparation for the sweep. After a few moments of concentration, she   
opened her eyes, "He's in his room..."  
"So why do you look like you've seen a /pop!/ ghost?" asked Jubilee,   
sucking in her gum after popping the bubble.  
Jean looked straight ahead, her red lips and hair standing out in stark   
contrast to her suddenly pale skin. "He's doing his homework."  
Scott took advantage of the sudden silence to address his team, "It is a   
Sunday night, and he's got school tomorrow just like all of us do..."  
"Yeah man, but this is Kurt, the K-Man! Homework is his kryptonite. He   
told me it makes his fur fall out," Evan confided.  
"That can't be r..."  
"And to think, I used to look up to him!" Scott was interrupted by the   
Institute's newest prankster, Bobby. Jubilee nodded in agreement, too busy   
trying to get her gum under control to speak.  
"Even Kurt knows when it's time..."  
"Well, I guess the stupid peasant needs an education. Though I have no   
idea how he'll use it with the way he looks." Amara crossed her arms and stared   
at the still-paused screen, not even acknowledging the fact that she had   
interrupted Scott.  
"That's not f..."  
"He like, totally gets on to me about studying too much, and I only do my   
homework for like, an hour," Kitty said.  
"Look," Scott began, starting to sound very irritated at being interrupted   
so much.  
Nobody, however, took much notice of him and everyone began to talk at   
once.  
"Maybe Mystique came back and took Kurt's place!"  
"What if he's sick?"  
"Did you tell him that we didn't invite him again, Amara?"  
"Maybe we should talk to the professor."  
"Do you think he's under someone's control?"  
Scott considered trying to call for order, but he just stood up and said   
to no one in particular, "I've got some homework to do," and headed for his   
room. 


	3. Dousing an Old Flame

Disclaimer: The characters are all registered trademarks and copyrights of   
Marvel and other people. I am using them without permission. I am making no   
money off of this, profit or otherwise.  
  
Archiving: E-mail me, I'll probably say yes.  
  
Author's Notes: This is my first piece of fan fiction. I will try not to use   
this as an excuse to suck. I don't write accents or dialects unless they are   
being purposefully exaggerated. I only know enough German from two years in High   
School and a German to English dictionary purchased from Half-Price Books. If   
any of the German is wrong or misused, please let me know.  
Enjoy.  
  
Chapter 3: Dousing an Old Flame  
  
He'd done it! They said it couldn't be done, they'd even signed a paper   
saying it would never happen, but here he was! He grinned at his alarm clock   
before rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.  
BAMF  
He appeared before his calendar, pen poised to mark the triumphant day.   
There, just cross it off and it'll be... His eyes widened, then looked down a   
row. Memory returned to him then, not just a single day, but a whole week? He   
wondered if they had slipped anything into his food before getting him into such   
a bet. He sighed and began to get ready for school, cleaning up his attempts to   
stay active after he had finished his homework last night. He quickly crumpled   
any paper that had anything resembling poetry on it, resolving never to try it   
again without dire need. He hid away his drawings, not quite ready to throw them   
away no matter how bad they looked. He made a mental note to put back all his   
CDs into the right cases, and maybe ask the professor for a television to be   
moved into his room. Now, how to ask without revealing the reason why...?  
7:17  
Stupid clock. He grabbed his backpack and hoped his image inducers would   
actually work today. With one last look at the calendar and a BAMF, he was in   
Scott's car on the way to school.  
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRING!  
"Well," Kurt said to himself, "I made it to school, shouldn't be too hard   
to lose the girls in the hallway." For the first time in his life, he was glad   
he didn't have a locker near any of his female housemates. He opened it and   
tossed in a few books he wouldn't need until later that day. He was reaching for   
his notebook when he froze in mid-grab. He felt more than heard a girl   
approaching.  
"Hey, Blue!"  
He turned around slowly and felt a lump grow in his throat. "Uh, hi   
Tabitha."   
She leaned up against his locker far too casually and perhaps a little bit   
suggestively. "Y'know, I was thinking that even though you still live in that   
fairytale mansion, that doesn't mean we still can't," she paused, filling the   
next words with innuendo, "hang out."  
Think fast, Wagner! "Uh... I'm late for class and..." his voice trailed   
off when Tabitha began running her hand up and down his silky arm.  
"Oh c'mon, you've had to make up so many excuses for class because of your   
little skin condition, one more won't hurt," she grinned and took another step   
toward him.  
He stood stock still for a moment, then blurted out the first thing that   
came to mind, "Can I talk to you about it next week?"  
She took a step back, a little surprised and a lot confused by the   
question. "Huh?" was her only response.  
"Tell you later, promise!" he said as he made a quick retreat for class   
before she could figure out what was going on.  
That went well, the little voice in his head told him derisively.  
Clappe, he ordered it. He sighed as he sank into his chair. This was going   
to be a long week.  
Giggles snapped him out of his reverie. He looked behind him to see a trio   
of girls in the back of the class with their heads together. So that's where the   
giggles had come from, he thought. The girls saw him looking back at them and   
collapsed into another fit of giggles. Kurt sighed and turned back around.  
This was going to be a really long week. 


	4. Pilfering Thoughts

Disclaimer: The characters are all registered trademarks and copyrights of   
Marvel and other people. I am using them without permission. I am making no   
money off of this, profit or otherwise.  
  
Archiving: E-mail me, I'll probably say yes.  
  
Author's Notes: This is my first piece of fan fiction. I will try not to use   
this as an excuse to suck. I don't write accents or dialects unless they are   
being purposefully exaggerated. I only know enough German from two years in High   
School and a German to English dictionary purchased from Half-Price Books. If   
any of the German is wrong or misused, please let me know.  
Enjoy.  
  
  
Chapter 4: Pilfered Thoughts  
  
Kurt woke up with a yawn and a stretch. He hopped out of bed and did his   
routine stretches and calisthenics before glancing over at his glowing red   
nemesis.  
9:53  
He grinned from ear to pointed ear. Sunday morning. Just one more day   
around the mansion to avoid the girls, and victory would be his! It had not been   
an easy week, not by far. Kitty had been doing well in school, which translated   
to spontaneous displays of affection at the mansion. He would have to apologize   
for the way he had to suddenly disappear when she came in the room tomorrow, and   
explain to Rogue and Jean why he'd been acting so weird. Tabitha, well, Tabitha   
would understand, right? Maybe if he let her steal some of his food for awhile   
she'd forgive him for being a complete jerk toward her this week. All for the   
greater good, right? He would prove those two wrong, keep his honor intact, and   
even get free food for a week out of the deal. It was worth it.  
Right?  
"...right?"  
Scott shook himself out of his daze. "What?"  
Evan sighed. "I just said that we had to find a way to make the 'Crawler   
lose the bet, right?"  
He turned to look at his partner in this little scheme. "And how do you   
propose we do that, Evan? He made us sign an NDA. If we tell the girls, then we   
have to pay him double the amount of the bet." Scott crossed his arms and slid   
further back onto the couch, wondering what was taking Evan so long to answer.  
"Just what can't you tell the girls, Scott Summers?"  
Oh.  
"Uh... nothing, Jean. We were talking about-"  
"Don't lie to a telepath Scott, it's insulting."  
He swallowed and looked at the three girls standing in the doorway, arms   
folded across their chests and nearly identical gleams in their eyes.  
"Good one, Cyke," Evan muttered.  
Rogue shot him a look. "I heard that, Spyke. Don't think you're off the   
hook."  
He shut up, wondering how he could manage to hide behind Scott without   
looking scared.  
"Yeah, Kurt's been acting weird like, all week. He's even double-weird   
when you guys are in the room, and we wanna know why," Kitty said, trying to   
sound as forceful as Rogue and Jean had.  
"So spill it," the southern girl drawled.  
Scott spoke up first, "We can't."  
"What?" all three girls wanted to know simultaneously.  
"We signed an NDA. N. D. A. Non-disclosure Agreement. Kurt made us sign   
one, so legally... we can't tell you." Scott smiled and grinned confidently.  
"I know what an NDA is," Kitty huffed.  
"Oh, so you're gonna hide behind some stupid piece of paper. Way to go,   
fearless leader." Rogue rolled her eyes.  
"No, he's right," Jean sighed, "we can't ask them to break the contract   
they made with Kurt."  
"Yeah," Evan began, "so why don't you let us finish up our show in peace?"  
"I wasn't finished," Jean glared at Evan until he shrank back into his   
seat. "Now Scott, did Kurt's little NDA specify what broke the contract?"  
"Of course. It looked pretty standard, no talking, writing, electronic   
communication..." his voice trailed off and he paled considerably.  
"Why Scott," Jean said, her voice far too upbeat, "whatever is the   
matter?"  
"..."  
"So you can't tell it to us, or write it down, or e-mail it, or   
telepathically tell it to me," Jean stopped and faked a gasp, "wait... you never   
said anything about someone taking the information telepathically, did you?"  
"..."  
"I didn't think so," Jean concluded, now openly grinning.  
"Jean, you wouldn't!" Scott glared at her, though it was hard to tell with   
his glasses on.  
"She might not, but can I help it if I accidentally bump into y'all?"   
Rogue asked innocently as she slipped off a glove.  
The two boys swallowed, wondering how Kurt had ever talked them into this   
bet.  
"So who's it gonna be, boys? The beauty or the beast?" Scott and Evan knew   
that Rogue wasn't talking about Kurt when she said beast. They looked at each   
other as Rogue started walking toward them. "Better decide quick before I do,"   
she grinned.  
"I'll do it!" Evan nearly shouted just before Rogue came into touching   
range.  
"Spyke!"  
"Sorry man, but I'm not gonna get zapped by Rogue if I can help it. Jean,   
you can... y'know." He breathed a sigh of relief as Rogue put her gloves back   
on.  
Scott shook his head. "This is wrong Jean, and you know it."  
Jean just smiled and shrugged. "Evan is giving me full permission, and the   
NDA never said anything about telepathic communication. Now just relax Evan,   
this will only take a minute."  
Evan closed his eyes and waited for the odd feeling of Jean entering his   
mind. The sensation stayed in place for a few moments, and he felt a vague   
reassurance that she was only looking at the memories of last Sunday. He opened   
his eyes to the sound of girls giggling. Jean must have shared the memory with   
the two other girls, too.  
"So this is all a bet?" Kitty said, after the giggles had mostly subsided.  
"They can't tell us, remember the NDA?" Rogue said, sarcasm flowing   
through her southern accent.  
"Thanks Evan, you've been a great help. Well girls, let's say we go teach   
a certain fuzzy blue elf a lesson." They turned to leave, but Jean stopped a   
moment. "Oh, and Scott? I expect your first order to Kurt to be to take care of   
the girls' laundry and kitchen duty days."  
Scott just crossed his arms over his chest and stood up a little   
straighter, his expression impossible to read through his ruby-quartz glasses.  
Jean laughed, "I'll take that as a yes," then left.  
"So, looks like we win, right man?" Evan asked, trying to recover some of   
his dignity.  
"Traitor."  
Evan watched Scott's back slowly disappear down the hall. "What'd I do?"  
Meanwhile, in the library, a young mutant had a large book open at his   
right side and a calculator with extra large buttons on his left. Kurt tucked   
his pen behind his ear and sat back to take a look at his calculations. He   
grinned as his eyes scanned over the numbers. By the end of the week, Scott and   
Evan would be out at least a hundred and fifty bucks, and that's if he ate   
light. While he was pondering whether he should tell them before or after the   
week was over, he heard a familiar sound behind him.  
"Good morning, Kurt. If I could have a word with you?"  
He quickly put his calculations into his book and slammed it shut. "Uh,   
yes Professor?" How could he have known? He'd been so careful not to let anyone   
know.  
"I have been talking with Forge lately, and he says he has developed a   
device that will help with your teleporting. He wants to do a test run tomorrow   
morning, if you feel up to it." Professor Xavier waited patiently for Kurt's   
answer, knowing that his last encounter with one of Forge's inventions was less   
than positive.  
"Oh... sure, Professor." He breathed an inward sigh of relief. "Is that   
all you needed to talk to me about?"  
"There was one more thing," Xavier began, "I was curious as to your recent   
interest in your daily calorie consumption. Your metabolism is fast enough that   
any eating disorder would seriously affect your health."  
"Oh, this? I've been trying to figure out how many calories a teleport   
takes up. The numbers are kind of hard, and this book has lots of words I still   
need to look up, but I'm getting there!"  
Xavier looked thoughtful for a moment. "It is good to see a student take   
such initiative with his powers, Kurt." He smiled, "It is even better to see it   
taken without any serious property damage. Good luck, and I am always available   
if you need any help."  
"Thank you, Professor." Kurt smiled as he watched Xavier leave, then let   
out the breath he had been holding. He looked at his image inducer, though he   
was more interested in the chronological features of it than its ability to hide   
his mutations from the world.  
6:34 PM  
He laughed, indulging himself in a moment of self-congratulations. He   
could do anything, even stay away from girls for a whole week. He had been a   
little worried at first, true, but he could already taste those Gut Bombs...  
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Blue Boy himself," Rogue stated from the   
doorway, flanked by Jean and Kitty.  
Kurt tried to work his mouth, but decided to start thinking up a plan   
first.  
"If you're wondering how we knew, let's just say that your little NDA was   
air-tight, but not thought-tight," Jean added.  
Kurt's brain refused to work after that statement. He remembered putting   
in a telepathy clause, then nearly kicked himself when he remembered taking it   
back out because he thought the issue would never come up.  
"Didn't you pay attention in English? The Greek gods always punish   
hubris!" Kitty declared, then went silent as all three stared at her. "What?"  
"Oh my God, I can't believe I share a room with her!" Rogue moaned.  
BAMF  
"Now look what you did," said Kitty.  
"What do you mean 'what I did,' you were the one who said..."  
"Will you two shut up? He's teleported to the hall and he's getting more   
and more of a lead on us!"  
The three girls ran out to the hallway, wasting a few precious seconds   
while Jean tried to get another fix on his location. "He's headed upstairs.   
Rogue, take the south stair case, I'll take the north. Kitty, you take the   
center. Hopefully, we can trap him somewhere that he won't have an escape   
route."  
"Like, duh Jean, he can teleport! He'll always have an escape route,"   
Kitty informed her.  
"Did you see Kurt at the dinner table?" Jean asked.  
"Oh," Kitty said, then thought about it. "Oh!" She grinned and rubbed her   
hands together  
"Shouldn't one of us guard the kitchen then?" Rogue asked.  
"No, I've got a better idea," Jean replied, a sly grin finding its way to   
her lips...  
Verdammt, verdammt, verdammt! First he forgot the no-telepathy clause, and   
then he forgot to eat because he was too busy calculating how much his win would   
cost Evan and Scott. Kitty was right, his pride was about to do him in. His   
stomach rumbled, and Kurt wondered how long it would take them to find him   
hanging (literally) in the coat closet. He gritted his teeth as he mustered up   
the strength for one more teleport.  
BAMF  
He exploded into the kitchen, then yelped and hit the ground tumbling as   
powers exploded around him. Light, sound, fire, ice, all aimed to disarm and   
disable him. Why were the new mutants attacking him?  
"Quick, he's trying to get around our left flank. Don't let him get near   
the target, guys, we're gonna win this one!" Bobby rallied his teammates into a   
frenzied defense of the pantry.  
They thought this was a training exercise? Well, that explained the   
uniforms, Kurt thought. At least they weren't using lethal force. He leaped out   
of the way of a lightning bolt at the last second, then amended his previous   
thought, *most* of them weren't using lethal force. With his stomach rumbling   
louder than before and teleportation an impossibility, the X-Man known as   
Nightcrawler decided that discretion can get the better of valor and got his   
tail out of the kitchen.  
"We did it! We showed that fuzz-ball who's boss!" Ray shouted and leapt   
into the air.  
"Alright, good work guys! He knows he can't beat us head on, so he'll   
probably try something sneaky on the next attack. Wolfsbane, follow him and make   
sure he doesn't try and sneak up on us," Bobby said. The little brown wolf   
wagged her tail and nodded, then took off down the hallway after the errant   
mutant.  
"Did you find him?" Jean asked Rogue and Kitty as they met at the top of   
the stairs overlooking the main entrance. The explosions from the kitchen   
interrupted them before they could answer.  
"What was that?" Kitty asked after nearly phasing through the floor.  
Jean smiled a wicked smile, "It sounds like Kurt tried to go get some   
food."  
Rogue raised an eyebrow and looked ready to ask a question, but she was   
cut short when a large dog ran by them. It took them a moment to realize the dog   
was not a dog, but a wolf, and that it was hunting a blue mutant that they would   
also very much like to catch. Before the moment had time to be over, they too   
were giving chase, though it was hard enough trying to catch up to two four-  
legged mammals when one did not complicate matters by running on the ceiling and   
walls. The girls' chase did not last long, because they lost their quarry   
between the boys' rooms and the elevator.  
"How could we lose a wolf and, like, Nightcrawler?" Kitty asked, leaning   
against a wall to catch her breath.  
"News flash Kitty, we just did," Rogue drawled, leaning against the wall to   
better glare at her.  
"Hey, we shouldn't be fighting. Just give me a moment, and I can find out   
where they've gone," Jean admonished, rubbing her forehead in preparation for a   
psychic scan. A few moments later, she opened her eyes, "I found him, he's in   
the..."  
BAM!  
ZZOT!  
BOOM!  
AUGH!  
PAFF!  
"...kitchen," she finished half-heartedly.  
They ran down the stairs and Jean flung open the kitchen doors with her   
telepathy. What they saw stopped them short. What was left of the kitchen   
resembled nothing less than a high-grade military weapon testing ground. Roberto   
and Sam were unconscious on the floor, apparently having collided in mid-air.   
Rahne was in the corner in wolf form, whining and gnawing at a chunk of ice   
holding her front paws to the floor. Ray and Amara were leaning against each   
other's backs, too exhausted to move. Scorch marks lining the walls, floor, and   
ceiling were a mute testament to their efforts. Bobby "the Iceman" Drake was out   
cold on top of the table, and Jubilee...  
"Hi guys!" she grinned and waved from the ceiling. To the three new   
arrivals, it looked like she was strung up to the ceiling with webs. A closer   
look revealed that no webs had been used, but pasta noodles had.  
"What happened?" Kitty asked as Jean lowered the embarrassed Jubilee to   
the ground.  
"We were guarding the fridge like Jean said to, for the training mission   
and all. But then Kurt just jumped in, screamed something that sounded like   
'calories!' and attacked us full tilt! It was wild!"  
"Wait a minute," Rogue said, "where's Multiple?"  
A head peaked out from a cupboard, "I'm up here. They told me to guard the   
pantry door as a last defense, but I took one look at Nightcrawler's eyes and   
... uh ... got out of the way."  
Kluges kin... er, clever kid, Rogue thought. Stupid power.  
Jubilee brushed herself off, then continued, "Yeah, he just burst in and   
took this huge cheese wheel and started eating it even before he got out of   
here."  
"So now what are we gonna do?" Kitty demanded.  
"The only thing we can," Jean answered with a sigh. 


	5. A Brief Interlude

Disclaimer: The characters are all registered trademarks and copyrights of   
Marvel and other people. I am using them without permission. I am making no   
money off of this, profit or otherwise.  
  
Archiving: E-mail me, I'll probably say yes.  
  
Author's Notes: This is my first piece of fan fiction. I will try not to use   
this as an excuse to suck. I don't write accents or dialects unless they are   
being purposefully exaggerated. I only know enough German from two years in High   
School and a German to English dictionary purchased from Half-Price Books. If   
any of the German is wrong or misused, please let me know.  
Enjoy.  
  
Chapter Five: A Brief Interlude  
  
"Don't you think we should...?"  
"No."  
"But you heard...!"  
"Yes."  
"So we should go down there?"  
"No."  
"C'mon Scott, there's explosions and everything! The new mutants are using   
their powers without authorization and..."  
"I said 'No,' Evan, and I meant it. I don't want to know what's going on   
down there, and I don't care."  
~Scott?~  
He sighed. ~What?~  
~We need your help, Nightcrawler is going to win if you and Evan don't   
come down and help us.~  
~He deserves it, we cheated.~  
~Please?~  
Scott could feel the puppy dog look, and Evan could see his lip quivering   
in indecision.  
~Pretty please?~  
"Alright Evan, the girls need us." Scott stood up and stalked out of the   
room.  
  
TO BE CONCLUDED 


	6. The End of it All

Disclaimer: The characters are all registered trademarks and copyrights of   
Marvel and other people. I am using them without permission. I am making no   
money off of this, profit or otherwise.  
  
Archiving: E-mail me, I'll probably say yes.  
  
Author's Notes: This is my first piece of fan fiction. I will try not to use   
this as an excuse to suck. I don't write accents or dialects unless they are   
being purposefully exaggerated. I only know enough German from two years in High   
School and a German to English dictionary purchased from Half-Price Books. If   
any of the German is wrong or misused, please let me know.  
Enjoy.  
  
Chapter Six: The End of it All  
  
Kurt leaned against the wall and let out a satisfied sigh. Calories had   
never tasted so good, he thought as he wiped the remnants of the cheese wheel   
off his hands. Now, just need to evade the girls for another... Wait, what time   
was it, anyway?  
~Time to lose, blue boy!~  
"Gah!" He jumped up and started running before finding out where that   
thought had come from. He turned and saw Kitty phase through the wall right   
where he had been and land on her face instead of him. He allowed himself a   
small grin before starting off at full speed again. As he approached an   
intersection, he leaped onto the wall then to the ceiling, narrowly dodging   
Rogue's ambush. He was off in a flash before she had time to regain her footing.   
He jumped off the ceiling to land on the floor with a somersault, but before he   
hit the ground he was caught with Jean's telekinesis. A quick look behind him   
confirmed his fears that he had been trapped, and Rogue and Kitty were advancing   
to finish him off.  
~Not so proud now, eh blue boy?~  
He grinned, then projected an image of the time he saw Scott stepping out   
of the shower in only his shades and towel (a result of an accidental teleport).   
A moment later he was free again and bounding down the hallway. A flash of red   
caught his eye, and he stopped for a moment to take a closer look.  
"Danke, mein Freund."  
Without another word, he set off down the hallway, only to be brought up   
short by Evan and Scott. He crouched into a defensive stance, but Scott held out   
his hands. "Whoa, man, I just want to talk," he began, "and say I'm sorry. I   
just didn't think Jean would stoop that low.  
"Yeah," Evan added, "those three were about to kill us, and we kept our   
mouths shut."  
Kurt grinned, "Hey guys, don't worry about it. Actually, I should be the   
one apologizing."  
"Huh?"  
Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt!   
Scott whipped around to look where the buzzing was coming from, then his eyes   
widened and he looked at his watch.  
12:01 AM  
Kurt winked, then disappeared.  
BAMF  
Smooch!  
BAMF  
Peck!  
BAMF  
MmmmmmmMmm!  
BAMF  
Jean reached a hand up to her lips. Where had he learned to kiss like   
that?  
Rogue looked down at her flimsy shirt and the mark of her lipstick where   
he had put it between her lips and his. Now why hadn't I thought of that?  
Kitty stopped herself from giggling at the last moment. So that's what a   
non-smoker tastes like...  
"Uh... what just happened?" Evan asked nervously.  
"We just lost," Scott answered, already trying to add up how much this was   
going to cost them in fast food bills.  
"And it's all your fault, Scott Summers!"  
"What?" He turned to face Jean.  
She just glared at him for a few seconds, then turned and walked back down   
the hallway to her room. Kitty and Rogue, after giving similar withering glares,   
followed Jean's lead.  
"How did he just do that?" Evan demanded. "He got to kiss all the girls,   
win the bet, but we get all the blame?"  
Scott just shook his head.  
"I guess chicks really do dig the fuzzy dude."  
  
END 


End file.
